By Loreal Moss

About This Session:

What if the most productive thing you could do was slow down? What if structure could serve your sensuality instead of sacrificing it?

In this transformative session, Sensual Systems Strategist Loreal Moss reveals why traditional productivity methods leave so many women feeling burned out and disconnected, and she introduces an approach that honors both your ambitions and your nervous system.

In this session, you'll discover:

• Why most planning systems ignore the hidden mental and emotional load you carry daily
• The three core principles of Sensual Systems that create a sustainable structure without suffocation
• How to design days that energize rather than drain you
• A complete framework for building rhythms that serve your whole self—mind, body, and spirit

This isn't another time management workshop. It's a shift toward productivity that feels like self-care, structure that creates freedom, and systems that actually serve your soul.

Perfect for intuitive women, entrepreneurs, and anyone ready to reject hustle culture in favor of something far more sustainable and satisfying.

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, beautiful people, wherever you are, in your mind, in
your body, in your spirit.
Thank you so much for joining me today.
My name is l' Oreal Moss, and we are going to click clear the air. All right?
We're going to clear all of the mental chaos and confusion about what it means to live a soft life
and how you create.
You can create systems that support that.
So my talk is called Systems for Sensual Living, and this is a mental reset for structuring softness.
All right, so my name again is l'. Oreal. Hi. By Simita.
I am a strategist primarily supporting black women in films, especially those that are navigating
burnout, major life transitions, identity shifts, etc.
And the approach that I take in my work is helping my clients shift from grinding to giving
themselves grace so that they can create systems to support the soft life that they desire one step
at a time.
All right, so a little bit more about me.
My pronouns are she, her, they, and I will always respond to your majesty.
I am a mother. I'm a mother.
I am a system strategist and consultant, which I already touched on, a pleasure advocate, which
means that I am teaching my clients they can absolutely put pleasure first.
I'm a pleasure first person.
We will talk more about that in the presentation, I promise.
I'm also a sensual systems architect.
That means that the systems that I create are rooted in what is going to be pleasing to all the
senses, and not just what you can see, hear, smell, all of that, but also what is supporting you
holistically.
Your emotional, your spiritual, your mental, your physical, as well as everything else in between. All
right?
And I'm also a kink enthusiast, but that is absolutely a story for another day. But we.
We can get into it, just not today.
So before we jump into the ooey gooey of today, because I know I'm going to ruffle some feathers,
I'm going to maybe step on a couple of toes, but it's all done with love, and I promise you'll be held
the whole time.
I'm not gonna leave you hanging.
But before we jump into it, I want you to ask yourself, what if softness wasn't the reward, but the
structure?
And you can take a screenshot of this so that you can journal on this later.
This isn't one of the prompts that I'm giving you, but you can absolutely, absolutely take it and
work with it later on.
But what if softness wasn't the reward, but the structure and the reason that I'm asking that
question is because I grew up being taught that you had to earn rest, that you had to earn a break.
And I know that when my clients come to me and they say I just want to be, they don't mean
necessarily that they want to sit around and do nothing.
What they mean is they want to get paid to be who they are and they want to love what they do.
They want to be able to flow through their life without having every single moment schedule and
without the world projecting laziness or procrastination or gold digger status or whatever on them
because they're choosing to live their life a certain kind of way. All right?
So if you are feeling any kind of tension or pressure to be more productive at the expense of doing
what brings you joy and what really nourishes you, you are not alone.
Because I have been through that.
Okay, but before we get into that, I want you to put the number that corresponds to where you're
at right now in the comments or in the chat space.
So put a 1 in the chat if you've ever felt like being organized meant that you couldn't be
spontaneous.
Put a 2 in the chat if you have ever avoided making plans because you didn't want to be trapped,
you felt like you wouldn't have any flexibility.
Put a 3 in the chat if you have ever experienced guilt for not having more structure around your
time.
If you haven't had everything scheduled down to the nearest half hour or the nearest quarter like
how I used to do.
And I'm going to put y' all in my business about that later on, I promise.
And put a 4 in the chat if you're curious about finding a balance between pleasure and productivity,
which is absolutely possible.
Before I got into the work that I was doing, I thought that pleasure and productivity were like
mortal enemies and there was no way that I could have one without the other.
But I learned that one of the most impactful and sensual things that you can do is create systems
that that serve your desires instead of sacrificing what you want.
Because I'm of the belief that any system you create, it doesn't just exist to nourish your mind, it
should also nourish and serve your body and your spirit too.
But here's the issue with it.
Most of us are living non traditional lives, but we're using productivity tools and methods of being
and existing that were designed for people who live more traditional lives and who have more
neural typical ways of thinking and processing information.
Added on to the fact That a lot of the systems that make up the way that the world operates are
rooted in white supremacy.
They are rooted in misogyny.
They are rooted in patriarchy.
They were never set up for us and people like us to thrive in the first place.
And because of that, it is easy for us to get wrapped up in hustle culture.
It's easy for us to get wrapped up in a system that teaches us to ignore our intuition and to find
ways to function out of integrity and out of alignment, because that's how you get ahead in life.
But the true result of that is being burnt out, feeling disconnected and lost.
And ultimately, that will cost you in your health, your energy, and your finances. All right?
So you're not broken, and you're not doing anything inherently wrong by following the systems that
you were born into, all right?
It's just that most traditional systems, most systems of productivity, totally ignore nervous system
regulation and the importance of that.
And they also ignore our innate cyclical nature as human beings, okay?
So what that leads to is, on the surface, we have all of the visible things that we do, okay?
We have the things that other people can see, right? The.
The highlight reel, so to speak.
But if, you know, as a brown woman, all right, as a black woman, especially as a black woman, we
are the blueprint for everything that exists.
And because of that, we have a massive.
A massive load that we were born into by default.
None of us asked for this, okay?
Unless you are of the belief that we decide what we want to do before we come, while we're on the
spiritual plane.
That is a discussion for another day.
But for the purposes of this, if you are a black woman living on this plane, in this realm of
existence, you are the blueprint, and you bear a load that you did not subscribe to.
And so under the surface, you are doing all of the emotional labor in all of your relationships,
platonic, romantic or otherwise.
You are constantly responsible for anticipating other people's needs.
You're constantly responsible, responsible for remembering schedules.
You are dealing with decision fatigue from making thousands of micro choices every day.
What time are you going to get up?
What time you go to bed? What do you want to wear?
Are you going to do makeup, no makeup, how you want to do your hair, all of that.
Thousands of micro decisions on a regular basis.
And then when you get into being partnered, okay, it'll be a little bit different for women that are
single, but as you get into being partnered, married, whatever, and you have children and you
have pets, and you have elderly family members or Whatever the case, it's just more piling on and
piling on and piling on.
So you can try to keep it cute and make it seem like you got it all together.
And you might, you might, but your body knows the truth.
And your body is going to tell on you every single time.
Because when you are moving through systems that do not support nervous system regulation,
that do not support your cyclical nature, you start to slip into overwhelm, chronic fatigue, analysis,
paralysis.
You're struggling to make decisions.
The only time that you rest is because you feel guilty, like, I really should get more sleep.
I really should rest more.
And you treat rest as a reward instead of something that is a natural act.
You also slip into burnout disguised as productivity.
Your to do list never ends, and you feel like you are not accomplishing anything, even though
you're constantly checking things off the list.
But here's the bridge, and this is where my systems for sensual living come in. All right?
These systems help you bridge the gap between where you're at, the life that you want, and also
helps you to become rooted in the person that you need to be to sustain that lifestyle.
And these are the three principles that I believe encompass how to create your own systems for
sensual living.
And I'm not saying that other people are teaching this.
These are just the principles that I created.
And I believe that they will help you to create those sensual systems.
And those three principles are honoring your rhythm, putting pleasure first, and creating and
participating in sacred, safe containers for you to live out your life and just be who you naturally
are.
So when it comes to the first principle of honoring your rhythm, even if you are one of those
blessed individuals that happen to live somewhere where the weather is perfect all year round,
your body still does not work that way.
We have seasons and cycles, and so it would make sense for us to abide by those and to honor
those. Right?
Because your energy, even though it's constantly in motion, your energy levels are not the same
throughout the day, throughout different times of the year.
They're cyclical, like the moon and the seasons.
So if you're someone who is looking for a cycle or you're interested in knowing what kind of cycles
you may be able to implement and use as a structure to, to create your dream life.
You have planetary cycles, which is where you get into astrology and natal charts, and you use
planetary alignment to help you tap into energy and insights on how to make decisions.
You have the moon cycle, and a lot of women even use their menstrual cycle now, fun fact, the
moon cycle and menstrual cycle are very closely linked because the amount of time that it takes
the moon to go through all its phases is roughly 28 days.
And that is about the average length of a normal, like what would be considered a regular
menstrual cycle.
And so a lot of women use moon cycles to govern themselves. All right?
Another set of cycles that you can use are seasonal cycles where you have spring, summer, fall,
and winter, and you tap into the energy of those natural cycles.
So to help govern your decisions.
Okay, now the second principle, your pleasure.
First, before you commit to anything, ask yourself, does this feel good in my body?
And you want to notice the sensations that are coming up.
Now, if you find yourself asking that question and nothing's happening, chances are you are
outside of your body.
And a few ways that you can tell that you're outside of your body is if you are consuming more
than you create or you're taking more than you give, which is self explanatory.
And another way is if you find yourself constantly replaying cycles, replaying conversations,
replaying things that hurt you, replaying past events and you're struggling to let go.
That's another way that you can tell that you're more in your mind and not inside your body.
And a few ways for you to get out of that is one, take a deep breath.
Not the shallow breath where your chest is moving up and down, but really deep cleansing breaths
where your belly expands.
Another way that you can do that is to simply work a different part of your brain. All right?
Do something creative.
Draw a picture, color, do a puzzle.
Do something that works a different part of your brain and that can help you get out of your head
and into your body.
And so the third principle, sacred safe spaces, here's the thing that a lot of people overlook about
this, and it's really interesting, because safe space and holding space, it's, it's giving.
Buzzword, right?
And that also similar to being authentic and soft, all of that is about aesthetic for most people.
And so when you listen to people teach about safe space and holding space, they're only viewing it
from the lens of community, which, yes, that is important.
But before you can get in, you have to take into account my favorite B word, which is boundaries.
You need boundaries.
Sacred safe spaces.
And containers look like boundaries.
And the purpose of boundaries is to keep you safe.
The purpose of boundaries is to also create space for your creativity and intuition to lead you.
And that starts with you.
You cannot properly be in community without boundaries.
And two quick ways that you can start setting boundaries is one, stop taking everything personally.
Everything is not about you.
And just because someone tells you no doesn't mean that they have a problem with you.
Not necessarily.
So try not to take things personally and allow people to be their own people.
The next thing that you can do to start practicing boundaries is to take responsibility for what you
think and what you feel. All right?
Don't say things like, you made me do, blah, blah, you made me feel.
Because when you do that, you are giving over your power to something outside of yourself.
And if you're tuning into this presentation today, that's not who you are, and that's not what you
want for yourself.
You're not someone who wants to relinquish your power in that way.
And so when you shift from you made me to take an ownership and saying, I feel this way because
I made this decision, because I think this, this, this I feel, blah, blah, blah, right?
You are standing in your power, and you are being a fully autonomous person. Okay?
Now here's something else that I know.
In my last several years of doing intuitive readings and consultations, in my last 10 years of being a
support person for online business owners, the pattern that I see repeating over and over and over
is super talented woman, super super gifted woman, wildly unbalanced, moving out of alignment.
Okay?
And how you know that this is you that I'm talking about is if it's easy for you to create solutions for
other people, if it's easy for you to channel messages for other people and.
And give them words of encouragement and to help them figure things out and solve problems.
But you're struggling to create new ideas and finish a launch in your business because you're
exhausted.
You're struggling to stick to a meal.
You can't seem to get to bed on time and get enough sleep.
I'm talking about you.
I'm talking about you. No shade. No shade.
No shade at all.
But that is why I started creating these systems.
Not just because my clients needed them, but because I needed them.
If you're tired of forcing your magic into systems that suffocate you, if you are.
If you felt a shift when I started talking about honoring your natural rhythm.
If you're ready to see the possibility of having structure and pleasure without having to sacrifice,
yeah, let's keep going.
Because the answer is never less intuition.
The answer is never less alignment.
The answer always comes back to more structure that prioritizes who you are at your core.
All right, so I have another Question that I want you to sit with.
And I want you to sit.
I really want you to sit with this.
I want you to pause and drop into your body as best as you can because your nervous system
cannot receive or process what your brain is trying to make you rush past.
All right, where in your life are you craving more softness?
And what kind of structure would help you hold that?
I'm going to give you three minutes to journal on this prompt.
You can pull up the notes app on your phone.
You can grab pen, pencil, paper and make it do what it do.
In this three minutes, I want you to just breathe and be honest.
I don't want you to edit anything.
I don't want you to try to come up with a plan to fix whatever comes up.
Because this is not about solving a problem.
This is about noticing.
This is about giving yourself attention.
This is about gathering real time data from your body so that you can find your flow and so that
you can be empowered to make future decisions that are in alignment with what it is that you say
you want.
Okay, so I'm gonna get this timer set up and going, all right?
And as you are journaling, I want you to remind yourself to breathe.
It is natural that as emotions come, you may want to hold your breath.
Continue breathing.
And again, don't worry about editing anything.
Don't worry about trying to fix anything.
Just let whatever come up flow out and you can always come back to this later.
Now I'm going to mute my mic and let you finish out these last few minutes.
Foreign.
We've got about 60 seconds left, so let's start to bring our thoughts to a close.
Bring them to a stopping point or a pause for you to come back later.
I don't want you to rush through this.
Just, you know, if you are in the middle of something, make a note to come back to it later.
I really wish I had more time with you, but go ahead and take this last 30 seconds to wrap up and
get yourself ready to continue with with me in the rest of this presentation.
Because unfortunately, our time is coming to a close.
But that's okay.
I know we'll stay in touch.
Alrighty. Thank you so much for taking the time to journal on that prompt.
And I want you to thank yourself for taking the time to do it as well.
Well, so before we move on, let's take a quick deep breath.
Remember to expand that belly.
Let it out.
And now let's go.
So I want to talk to you all about how I went from rigid to radiant.
Now, I'm not saying that I'm exactly where I want to be, but I'm a whole lot closer than I was
before.
Now, this screenshot of this calendar, this is not my calendar.
Because if I had known what my calendar looked like, this. This.
That I would be doing the work that I'm doing now. Of course.
Of course I would have taken a screenshot, but I didn't, because I thought that that was normal. All
right?
I thought it was normal for my calendar to look like this.
So this is not my calendar, but it is a very close representation of how my calendar used to look.
But me having my calendar filled up like that, oh, my goodness. This is.
This is where I'm about to let y' all get in my business.
This is the breaking point. All right?
I started my business in 2015.
I had no idea what I was doing, but I needed some money. Okay?
I was in a situation where I either had to quit or be fired from the job that I had when I was living in
Colorado.
No family up there, Just me, my husband, our kids. Okay?
And then I had a newborn daughter and a five year old, and I had to figure something out.
The first time I hit capacity was in 2015.
I was charging $19 an hour for VA services.
I ended up with 20 clients, and I still was not making enough money to pay my bills, to pay my
business expenses.
I couldn't do anything.
Every dollar that I made either went into my household or it went towards my business.
I was not thriving, and I was so desperate for coaching that I ended up in several predatory
contracts with coaches in the industry and end up owing them thousands of dol that I knew I could
not repay, you know, based on barters. All right?
I also stressed myself to the point of miscarriage twice between 2015 and 2018.
Now, I thought rebranding was the answer. Okay?
So in 2018, I reintroduced myself as the biz empire matchmaker, right?
And at that time, I went from being a VA to focusing on helping solopreneur business owners hire
team members.
That flopped.
That absolutely flopped.
It sounded cute.
The ideas were cute.
You know, it had potential, but it flopped.
I didn't find a single client doing that.
So I'm like, okay, I'm just gonna try again.
I'm gonna do another rebrand. All right?
And I figured that even though, you know, with the momentum I have, because I always kept at
least one private project client, but that, of course, there wasn't enough money to live off of, but I
figure, hey, they've Been referring people to me.
It's time for me to close some deals.
Now, between 2018 and 2021, I was looking for my joy, and I ended up starting a podcast.
It's not pictured here, but it was called Girl them Kids.
And it was so much fun.
Oh, my goodness, it was so much fun.
I think the page is still active on Facebook, but I did that, but I wasn't making any money.
And so I'm like, okay, let's do something else, right?
But we gonna figure this out.
So Fast forward to 2021.
Okay, now I'm the systems fairy.
That's the picture that you saw with the crystal crown and the wings. I still had the wings.
I have no idea what happened to the crown, but the wings. I love the wings.
So I brand myself as the system spirit that stuck with me for years.
And there are still some people that I did events with that still refer to me in that way. And I love it.
Because she was a fairy. Yeah. Yeah.
But anyway, around that time, I was in my bag, okay, in my online business management bag.
I was in my spiritual bag. I was making money.
I hit my first 5k in my business, but I was tired.
You can see how tired I was in my eyes.
So I'm like, okay, I just need to stop.
So in 2023, in another journey to finding my joy, I. I rediscovered my love for podcasting.
I launched the Power Pleasure Summit, which was a hit, but I still was not thriving.
I still was not making consistent income.
And even though it was fun to discover all those different sides of my personality and let those size
shine, I was reaching my limit again.
And so Fast forward to 2025, where I am now.
I realized that I had no boundaries.
I had zero boundaries with my clients.
I was struggling to delegate anything in my home life.
And I was caught in that cycle that I spoke to earlier of the never ending to do list, checking all this
stuff off my list, but feeling like I was failing at every single aspect of my life and my body was
screaming for rest.
Between 2021 and 2025, I experienced several more pregnancy losses because I was stressed.
And that's why I started to create these systems.
And these are some simple shifts that I made.
All right, this is simple, not easy, because the reprogramming of your mind is the most complicated
part.
But simple shifts help me to find my joy and sustain it day to day.
So my days look like slow mornings, taking my time to get up and get out of the bed and get ready,
preparing in advance.
I allow my body to help me make decisions.
I give myself time to do something for myself, even if it's only 10 minutes a day.
And it has made a world of difference.
Because this is not about perfection or eliminating all of your problems.
It's about navigating your life in a way that prioritizes your joy so.
So that you are able to be filled and fulfilled in what it is that you do without feeling like you have
to keep sacrificing.
And so that's why I created something special for you.
Okay, so your next step today, if you choose to take action right, you.
You can choose not to take advantage of this, and that's fine.
But I created a mini planner called the Soft Day Designer.
And this planner was created to help you design each day with ease and prioritizing pleasure in
your intuitive flow.
There is information in there on how to start and stop your day.
You get to design what you want that to look like.
You get to map out your week, putting your pleasure first, which I think is dope. All right?
And if you want to download your copy today, all you have to do is scan that QR code on your
screen.
Okay? So you can take a screenshot of this slide if you don't have the time to scan the QR code
right now.
So the last thing that I want to leave with you is what's one thing you're going to do this week?
You're going to stop doing this week to make space for softness.
I want you to take a screenshot of that journal on that later.
And I'm also going to invite you to connect with me on social media.
You can follow me on Instagram at I am l' Oreal Moss.
You can shoot me an email or you can join my free
community@powerofpleasurepodcast.substack.com it has been amazing spending time with you
today.
It's been amazing serving you, and I hope that you got exactly what you needed.